Are any of you a long-term caregiver for an elderly or ill person? Pete's 95-year-old mother has lived with us for almost 3-1/2 years now. It was a well thought out decision, we thought. His Mom had a couple of falls living at her home and ended up in a rehab facility each time. She has a "bad" knee, which resulted from a fall 25 years ago, and that contributed to the falls. She has always been adamant that she didn't want to go to a nursing home, so we had her come here. Although she was able to stand and transfer to a chair, commode, etc. when she left rehab, within 2 weeks of living here she was afraid to even try. We ordered a hydraulic patient lift to move her, and have used it ever since. She now can't put any weight on her legs. So we need to get her up and dress her each day, put her on the commode every 3 hours, then get her undressed and into bed each night. To say that has made a huge difference in our lives is an understatement. We do have an LPN come in during the week in the morning to give her a sponge bath each day, so that gives us a little leeway to go out to breakfast or do a little shopping together. And Pete's daughter comes 3 nights a week and puts her to bed. However, she really doesn't want anyone to take care of her but us, and after a full year now, still isn't very happy with having her LPN come in. She can be an extremely difficult person - nothing new brought on by her age - she has always been the same. One daughter hasn't spoken to her for over 30 years, and she's burned her bridges with her sister, nieces and nephews and all but 2 grandchildren. She has 3 great-grandchildren she has never met due to her treatment of other family members. At the same time, she can sometimes be so very sweet. I can be feeling upset, and if she calls me "Sweetie" I just melt. It's a difficult situation, but we do our best.
On a different note, we're expecting a huge snowstorm starting late this afternoon and not finishing until tomorrow. Our area is expecting 14"-20". Tomorrow afternoon we'll be busy!
We have a huge area to plow out, and Pete does the majority of it in his heated tractor. I'm responsible for the dog pen and the chicken pen, which I do with a walk-behind snow blower and a shovel. We have a big penned in area which you're standing in when you go out our back door. Makes it easy to let all our dogs out to do their business at once and keep them safe. This is the view looking out through the dog pen towards the chicken coop and pen. Looks cold and drab and wintery!
Here's a cute photo to leave you with. These are 2 sisters, Nellie and Dixie. Pete's daughter took in their stray mom when she was pregnant and we adopted 2 of the 4 babies. We always have a cardboard box or two around and they're very popular!
Stay safe if you're getting this storm in your area!
I had my late husbands father living with us for 13 years and I understand what your going through. Heather
ReplyDeleteWow, 13 years! You definitely qualify for sainthood!
DeleteHi, Sue. My heart aches for you - a truly difficult situation. xx
ReplyDeleteThank you. I know when it's over we will be thankful we were able to do this. (If we outlive her!)
DeleteWhat a heartbreaking story. I’m so thankful my elderly parents are still fit and able. I think you are doing a wonderful job.
ReplyDeleteThank you. On my side, my father has passed but my Mom is still doing pretty well at 87 and living on her own. She stopped driving after she had a stroke last year, so I am her wheels. I take her grocery shopping once a week and to a Bible Study group and to church, as well as any appointments. She also belongs to a book club that meets once a month. I really enjoy the time I spend with her. Her attitude and demeanor are so different from Pete's mom.
DeleteSue, you and your husband must have the patience of saints! Not many would do what you do. I had my mother in law live with us for a while before her death, but she was a real sweetheart and easy going.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Eleanor. When it's really getting to one of us, the other one steps up and takes over a little, so we manage. I'm glad you had a good experience with your mother-in-law. You must feel good that you were able to do that for her.
DeleteWe had my husband's mother live with us for short stints over a couple of years. However, we both worked full time and it was very difficult. Due to a variety of circumstances and the fact that her dementia has progressed, she is in a nursing home, albeit a nice one. I can't even imagine how you have kept this up for 3 1/2 years! Please remember to take care of yourself, too. (We had a cat named Nelly for 19 years! She was a real member of the family). -Jenn
ReplyDeleteI guess this effects most of us in one way or another at some point in our lives, and we just have to do the best we can under the circumstances. I've already told my daughter to put me in a nursing home if I can't live on my own, and I really mean it! Nelly is named after a dear friend of my grandmother's. A nice old-fashioned name!
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