A Scare

I wasn't sure I wanted to write about this on the blog, but I guess anything that is said that could raise awareness is good. About 6 years ago now, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was fortunate that it was found at Stage 1, and after removing the tumor and radiation therapy, she has been cancer free. At the time it was found, she had genetic testing and was told there wasn't a genetic component to her cancer that would increase the probability of me or our younger sister of getting breast cancer. Of course we did all grow up in the same environment, so that is another issue. But I have yearly mammograms, and I felt pretty safe.

Last week, out of the blue, when I was getting into the shower, I had a little talk with myself. I said, "You have a sister who has had breast cancer, and you don't even take the time to do monthly breast exams. Are you nuts?" So I did an exam and found a small lump. This was a week ago Monday, and I had so many things lined up to do each day last week that I didn't get in to the doctor until Friday. (This is retirement?!)  The lump wasn't easy to locate all the time, so before I went I marked the spot  with a black permanent sharpie marker. It all got a lot scarier when the doctor felt the lump, too.

My doctor ordered a diagnostic mammogram and a sonogram, but I couldn't get an appointment until Wednesday. If any of you have been through this, I'm sure you know what it was like waiting for the next step. I knew not to look at any of the forums on the internet, but I did look at many legitimate sites - Susan Komen, The National Breast Cancer Foundation, etc. I found out that lumps are much more likely to be cancerous after menopause, and that by the time women are in their late 70s, one in eight will have had breast cancer. I'm 63, post-menopause, have a sister who has had breast cancer, and am overweight. I check off a lot of the risk factors.

In the five days I waited for the test, I lost 5 pounds. I had a knot in my stomach almost constantly. I had a hard time concentrating on anything. I'm extremely anxious to begin with, but this really wound me up. Pete was wonderful. He just kept saying that it was probably nothing, but if it was cancer we would do whatever we had to do and we would get through it together.

The results of the mammogram were looked at immediately by the radiologist, and when he didn't see anything, I started crying with relief. Then I had the sonogram, and the technician did find a lymph node that was what we were feeling. But it is absolutely not a problem and everything else looked good. I had to hug her (after I got dressed!) W hat a tremendous relief!

I haven't stopped feeling thankful yet. I loved just sitting in the living room watching TV with Pete and reading last night. I woke up this morning and absolutely enjoyed feeding cats, dogs, bird, cleaning cat boxes, taking the dogs out and cleaning up after them - all the normal morning chores were a pleasure! I loved taking my Mom to the audiologist today and then to do a little shopping. Loved every minute.

I know how fortunate I am. I hope I remember each day to be more thankful for what I have and all the blessings I have been given. And I'm definitely going to do a breast self exam each and every month.